DEATH & GRIEF: RITUAL CARE
End-of-Life Care, Compassionate Accompaniment, Death Doula & Grief Rituals.
Honoring Death Processes through Intentional & Compassionate Ceremonial Space.
“Where there is sorrow, there is holy ground.”
— Oscar Wilde
Honoring Life’s Transitions
Death & Grief bring forth complex and deep processes, for both the individual and surrounding family & community.
How do we create space to both grieve & celebrate the gift of life shared?
How do we truly honor the miracle of life & the transition of death for the ones we love?
…:…
Rituals create bridges for moving from one phase of life, to another. Through all of life’s transitions - be it death, relationship endings, personal grief work - ritual can provide a sanctuary for truly honoring life’s sacred transitions.
Holding intentional ceremonial space around these moments allows for deeper presence and integration of the process within us. To pause, and acknowledge how our path has brought us to this present moment — to engage with it intentionally. To call our ancestors closer, to ask for their support in the process of grieving or death. To be more resourced as we venture into to this new phase of life, holding grief and love in each hand.
DEATH DOULA: RITUAL CARE
End-of-Life Care
End-of-life care refers to health care provided in the time leading up to a person's death. This process can be provided in the hours, days, or months before a person dies. The intention of EOL care is to provide physical, emotional, and spiritual comfort to relieve suffering when caring for a loved one who is dying.
Teagan’s personal approach to this process is rooted in a deeply spiritual & ancestral perspective on the process of dying. This not only includes the pragmatic preparatory measures taken for the beloved in transition, yet also a more ceremonial approach to deeply honoring the life and process of the individual.
Elements of personal ceremony, group ritual, ancestral traditions, and spiritual exploration may be incorporated to support the process. Each individual is entirely unique, and thus is the nature of this supportive space — entirely informed & attuned to each beloved in process.
Preparation Rituals
Compassionate Accompaniment; Rituals to prepare the beloved & surrounding family for the transition of death. Uniquely attuned to each individual’s process, incorporating personal ceremony, legacy work, ancestral & spiritual traditions, and family support.
Living Wake: A traditional Celtic practice of gathering family & friends together, to holding a deeply celebratory space for the beloved preparing for death - while still alive. Stories, Songs, memories, and an Altar can be created. A deep honoring of life.
Ancestral Connection: Guided Ancestral Lineage Healing work to connect the beloved with wise & well ancestors, to support the transition into becoming an ancestor themselves. This can involve a Fire Prayer Ceremony to call forward the ancestors that can help the soul of the individual transition easefully after death. This can be held as personal or small group space.
End-of-Life Psychedelic Journeys: A powerful way to come to terms with this life transition, in the careful support of plant medicine and Somatic Psychedelic Facilitation.
After-Death Processes
The time after the death of the beloved is both a complex and sacred space, full of continued ritual care for the family of the deceased. This time can include honoring, grieving, and celebratory processes, to intentionally attune to the sacred experience of losing a loved one.
In the Celtic Tradition, honoring of the recently deceased took place for up to a week after death, to ensure safe passage for the spirit of the loved one on their journey into the afterlife. The understanding was that it took a few days for the spirit of the deceased to find its way to the Ancestors, to be received safely in the afterlife. During this time, there was both a celebration and grieving process for the family of the beloved dead, to support this passage.
These frameworks can be applied to any spiritual or religious orientation, attuned to the traditional philosophies that resonate with the beloved who has passed.
Collective Keening; the intentional act of expressing the emotions that arise in the wake of death, such as wailing, crying, sobbing in shared space, as an act of honoring & processing grief. A traditional Celtic act of honoring the spirit of the deceased, while simultaneously processing emotions in shared space. Somatic release practices can be incorporated into Keening rituals as desired.
Celebratory Wake; A time of deep honoring, celebrating the life of the beloved dead while also processing grief in collective space. An intentional ceremony with family & friends of the deceased, gathering together to honor their life. Elements can include an Altar or Shrine devoted to the beloved, storytelling, songs, memories, a shared meal, music & dancing, or ancestral & spiritual traditions to support the safe passage of the beloved’s spirit. An Ancestral Fire Prayer can be incorporated here as well.
See Grief Rituals below for further ideas to be incorporated into this space.
GRIEF RITUALS
Grieving is a sacred process. There are so many forms it can take, unique to each individual in their experience. We grieve because we have loved; Love & Grief are sacred expressions of one another. As is the nature of Love, Grief never truly goes away; we simply find ways to grow around & alongside it.
“Life is full of grief, to exactly the degree we allow ourselves to love other people.” — Orson Scott Card
In grief tending, rituals are an important part of the healing process. Rituals provide an anchor to the experience of grief; they speak to our hearts and legitimize our emotions, while inviting us to focus on the present with deep intentionality.
Grief rituals can take the shape of individual or shared group space, and are not limited to processing death alone. Be it the end of a relationship or friendship, the symbolic death of a past version of self, or the processing of unmetabolized past experience, Grief takes many forms. These rituals are attuned to the unique needs of the individual, and what is needed to best support their grieving process.
Personal Grief Ritual; this ceremony can include elements of Altar making, calling upon Ancestral Support, Fire Prayer and/or water blessing, and keening or emotional release processes. Ideas from the list below can be incorporated as well; Teagan will design the unique ceremony with each individual. This can be shared one-on-one or in small groups.
Bereavement Ceremony; An opportunity for the community and all relations affected by the death of a beloved to process in shared space. Sharing stories, songs, keening and grieving processes are all welcome. Other ceremonial or creative elements may be incorporated; unique to each communities desires.
Some Grieving ideas:
Release ceremony: butterflies, balloons, flowers, water blessing
Memory Circle: an opportunity to share stories, songs, images, and memories
Design an Altar to bless the ceremony, with objects & photos of the beloved
Plant a tree or memorial garden
Music and Dance Gathering to celebrate the life of the beloved
Visit your loved one’s favorite locations or restaurant to eat together
Create a memory quilt or collective creative memorial project
Light a Candle & Speak to the beloved, or Write a letter
Wear objects & clothing that belonged to your loved one
Within Grief and Death, lives the potential for rebirth & deeper love. As Ram Dass says, “Grief is the loss of the dream”, the loss of some potential future that no longer exists due to the transition of life. We must find ways to gently hold ourselves through this transition, recognizing that death of any form is simply a doorway — a threshold into a new reality.
FOR THE DYING
May death come gently toward you, Leaving you time to make your way Through the cold embrace of fear To the place of inner tranquillity. May death arrive only after a long life To find you at home among your own With every comfort and care you require. May your leave-taking be gracious, Enabling you to hold dignity Through awkwardness and illness. May you see the reflection Of your life’s kindness and beauty In all the tears that fall for you. As your eyes focus on each face, May your soul take its imprint, Drawing each image within As companions for the journey. May you find for each one you love A different locket of jeweled words To be worn around the heart To warm your absence. May someone who knows and loves The complex village of your heart Be there to echo you back to yourself And create a sure word-raft To carry you to the further shore. May your spirit feel The surge of true delight When the veil of the visible Is raised, and you glimpse again The living faces Of departed family and friends. May there be some beautiful surprise Waiting for you inside death, Something you never knew or felt, Which with one simple touch, Absolves you of all loneliness and loss, As you quicken within the embrace For which your soul was eternally made. May your heart be speechless At the sight of the truth Of all belief had hoped, Your heart breathless In the light and lightness Where each and everything Is at last its true self Within that serene belonging That dwells beside us On the other side Of what we see.”
― John O'Donohue, To Bless the Space Between Us: A Book of Blessings
